“I was so confused and insecure. Because I thought I was beautiful. So many people told me I was beautiful.
Who am I? I feel like a vase shattered across the ground, and left there in the alleyway. A chandelier that was cut from the ceiling, and then all the people left the house.
I can’t imagine on this day, what it would feel like to recover.
Am I allowed to be this sad? Am I allowed to lay on the ground in a heap and wail?
I want to have hands again, and legs. I want to smile. I want to believe that I can.
But again, I want to be sad for the rest of time. I want to wear my sadness in long strands. I want to lay on the ocean floor and weep stalactites. For a hundred years.
A tree has fallen onto my chest. The sky is spinning, and it won’t slow down. I don’t want to feel any of this.”
A excerpt of an untitled essay from NIGHTBIRDE
The NIGHTBIRDE book “Poems for the dark” should be available for presale soon. We hope Jane’s words make you all feel less alone in your human experience.
Photo by Jacqueline Day
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2024/01/23
