is one of the most iconic sitcoms of the '90s. Chandler’s swag, Phoebe’s one-liners, and Joey’s charms are some of the show's best elements that the fandom remembers even after two decades. is considered a comedy milestone, but when binge-watched today, the series may come off as a boiling pot of inappropriate jokes, off-color remarks, and countless instances of cultural appropriation. In its decade-long run, has come under fire for several problematic things that used to slip away in the '90s but have since rubbed the audience the wrong way.
It turns out that the popular sitcom not only made light of issues like obesity, gender identity, and sexism, but also indulged in cracking jokes with a far darker meaning behind them.
Whether it’s making fun of Phoebe’s tragic past or trivializing Joey’s problematic childhood, various Friends jokes come off as more morbid than funny.
Phoebe’s life story is ironically the most tragic, considering she’s the awkward and bubbly member of the circle. The series makes fun of Phoebe’s situation mercilessly, whether it's about her drug addict mother’s suicide, Phoebe’s father abandoning her, or her indifferent twin sister. Although none of these things deserve to be made fun of, always made it a habit of teasing the topic through
. She would usually joke about her homelessness and her mugging habits as a teen.
However, one joke about Phoebe’s life singles out as the darkest, and it’s Phoebe herself who plays her trauma as a pun. In "The One With The Mugging," she claims to Monica that her mother was killed by a drug dealer, to which Monica replies that Phoebe’s mother died by suicide. Phoebe quips back, saying, “She was a drug dealer,” confirming the fact that her mother indeed killed herself, but with a callousness that was disturbing.
has always been too insensitive about stereotyping and sexism. From Joey and Chandler’s degrading remakes about women to Ross’s rigid conceptions of toxic masculinity, has made a joke about almost everything. In Season 9, Ross and Rachel hire a male nanny named Sandy to care for Emma during the day. However, things become insidious when Ross mocks the male nanny for being in a profession mainly constituted as “woman’s work”.
He passes a bleak comment saying, “So you’re just, like, a guy who’s a nanny?” insinuating that being a sensitive guy who likes babies more than stocks or hammers is the worst-case scenario for any man.
This wouldn’t have been the first time Ross had taken up the mantle for promoting misguided masculinity and passing judgment on those who don’t comply with stereotypes. Ross’s homophobia and sexism have rendered him a controversial figure.
While it may have been funny in the '90s to assume that a girl is only attractive and popular when skinny, this doesn’t work today. Fat shaming has been a recurring problem in , and the show has made weight-related jokes several times, especially with Monica.
When the gang views an old video of young Monica, Joey passes a comment saying, “Some girl ate Monica!” when an overweight version of the character appears in the video. Not only does the sitcom do a terrible job at physically representing a fat person, but also continuously portrays Monica as someone who is too desperate for intimacy because without it, she’s a lost cause.
In “The One That Could Have Been" (Parts 1 and 2), the series shows an alternate universe where Monica doesn’t lose weight, and she ends up losing her virginity to Chandler. She calls herself a “slut” and seems awfully thankful for this experience just because she’s fat.
has a bad reputation regarding sexism and racism. Not only does the show throw random homosexual slurs, but is also relatively insensitive towards other sexual orientations and uses them as a form of insult. In Season 8, Rachel finds out that Ross and Will were responsible for the intersex rumor that started about her in high school. They were also the founders of the “I Hate Rachel Green Club”, which was why Rachel had a hard time keeping relationships then.
If this wasn’t enough already, they also joke about her genitals, which Chandler further rubs into her face saying that she was known as a hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island. Rachel clearly explained in the episode how her reputation was ruined because of the rumor, which was insensitive to intersex people and to Rachel as well (but .) However, the other friends didn't acknowledge that Rachel was bullied, nor did they realize that the gag was highly offensive to actual intersex people. They promoted indifference towards it.
It’s implied in that one of the reasons why Chandler is the way he is, is because of the character’s complicated dynamics with his parents. He was raised by a transsexual parent (his dad) and a narcissistic mother, which pretty much explains Chandler's dark sense of humor. Several gags regarding Chandler’s parents are carelessly thrown around, revealing the dark truth about the implications of such jokes. Chandler’s dad worked as a drag performer and preferred to dress as a woman -- a fact that’s used against Chandler to make fun of his masculinity and his past.
What’s even worse is that Chandler’s mother insults Helena about her body and sexuality at Monica and her son’s wedding.
Chandler is portrayed as someone who enjoys baths and music and is mocked for it as if that’s something that a man shouldn’t be doing. Her mother’s joke could imply the rejection that Helena receives is the same kind that Chandler is subjected to for being “soft”.
. An interesting one-liner that pops up is in a scene where Joey hugs a little chick, but he squeezes it a little hard, and Chandler says, “Easy, Lennie”. The joke refers to John Steinbeck’s famous novel “Of Mice and Men,” in which one of the characters named Lennie used to accidentally kill small animals because of his strength.
Lennie was a child-like soul with an innately strong body that would prove lethal during his violent tantrums. He would stroke puppies and mice so hard that they would suffocate. Ironically, he ends up doing the same thing with a human, which unwillingly reflects the dark nature of humans. Even though Chandler may have said it on impulse, the meaning behind the reference was pretty morbid.
Joey already has sympathies from the audience for the meaning behind the joke with his tailor, but there is more than one gag that confirms that Joey might have been taken advantage of by an irresponsible adult several times.
In Season 8, Joey rejoices about getting an A grade for the first time since 7th grade, which involved sleeping with a teacher. The casual mention of teacher-student relations at a young age is disturbing to a different level.
It may have come off as another “Joey sleeps with everyone” joke, but it definitely seems to be pointing to a problematic childhood. While some fans may interpret this joke differently, it isn’t right for a teenager, whether in 7th grade or above, to have relationships with a teacher in return for grades. It might’ve been a classic Joey joke then, but it feels dark if the fans think really hard about it.
It’s not like Chandler to let a pun go by unacknowledged, especially when it’s to point out someone’s hypocrisy. In this episode, Chandler makes it a point to sugarcoat a serious issue into one of his deadpan jokes. In "The One with The Yeti," Phoebe receives a fur coat from her mother, to which she expresses her distaste for receiving clothing that was probably made from an animal. She announces that she already has a coat that no animal died for.
Since Phoebe is a vegetarian and is generally seen as more compassionate towards others, her reaction is justified. However, Chandler immediately points out Phoebe’s hypocrisy, saying, “Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour” while referring to her cruelty-free coat. He is obviously referencing issues like child labor, sweatshops, and the issue of indentured work by immigrants for large corporations that goes largely ignored in favor of fast fashion.
One of the morbid things that fans came to realize in a “harmless” joke is the fact that Joey might have been molested as a child. Joey’s character is stereotyped as a typical womanizer with a crazy childhood involving sleeping with teachers and partying with college girls at 13. While it is understandable that Joey is simply the way he is for the sake of characterization, viewers believe that the reason behind his toxicity towards women might be hidden inside a joke.
It starts when Chandler goes to Joey’s family tailor and tells him that he measured him awkwardly and that there was “a definite…cupping”, to which Joey remains unruffled, saying that’s how all tailors operate.
Joey ended up revealing that he had been going to the family tailor for several years, which may subtly point to the fact that the tailor might have sexually assaulted him and Joey didn't know any better. This could be the reason for Joey’s outlandish behavior and choices when it comes to intimacy.
Chandler is the epitome of all things sarcastic and ironic, but he’s also one of the most loved television characters of all time. Chandler always pointed out the elephant in the room and would rather joke about almost anything than be in an uncomfortable position.
In the episode where Rachel wears a ridiculously giant hat, nearly everyone in the gang makes fun of it in their own way. However, Chandler’s joke may have seemed harmless at that time, but it intentionally or unintentionally pointed to an important yet tragic circumstance that happened later in the show.
Chandler points to the hat and says in a moment of foreshadowing, "Wait a minute- I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat. They did experiments on me! I can't have children!". At first, it seems like a classic Chandler insult, but it's later revealed in Season 9 that both Chandler and Monica can’t have children, and they think of considering other options like sperm donors to start a family.
